Sleep, or the lack thereof, Toes and a Scorpion

Image by Pierce Place via Flickr

Ever since raising my children, for the most part single-handed, I have got into the habit of working late. When I say late, sometimes this could mean, well, through the night.  Then having to ferry the children to school, get to work myself, arrange collecting them at lunchtime, driving to swimming pools, football training etc. Then repeat the above… My one joy which was denied me was a lie-in in the morning. The thought of not having to get up to do something. This thought of heaven has mostly eluded me but I’m working on it. Having arrived back to Texas last Monday evening I was determined to treat myself to a long lie-in. The though even excited me. So much so that I stayed up late, watched TV,  had numerous conversations with friends on Twitter, then Facebook. I even phoned some friends for a chat. Life was good. At 4 a.m. I hit the bed. Really tired and the thought of a sleep-in was all too much. Ah, Heaven on earth.

Shortly after 8 a.m. I awoke to what sounded like a Police Raid. Bedroom door being bashed, kicked, then finally opened. In came the culprit. It was my Grandson Toes. ‘Morning ‘ I called out. Then stretching an arm from beneath the bedclothes I ushered Toes back in the direction of the door. It worked. Silence re-enveloped the entire room. Seconds later, in truth it was probably more like 10 minutes or so, my daughter arrives into my bedroom on the phone. I think she was on the phone. Well she was at some stage. I remember her asking me whether she should cancel Terminix or reschedule, as they say out here. I think I said ‘yeah, cancel’  but I also remember saying ‘sure I’ll stay home and let them in’. It was the latter comment, which I was later informed, was uttered by me some minutes after the phone call had ended…which was the cause of said daughter goose-stepping it out of the room, Gestapo style, clearly in bad form. Oh God, what had I done now. To confront the situation or.. yes, back to sleep I decided was the best course of action. Moments later I hear a shriek. It was Toes. No, I didn’t jump up, just froze. There were enough adults in the house, no doubt up for hours at this stage, who could deal with whatever crises had arisen. Then more voices.. and Toes going EEEhhhheee. Then ‘Oh My God’ from my younger daughter. At this I sprang into action, grabbed a pair of shorts, to make myself decent and jumped straight into my boots. Normally I would not do the latter without first turning out said boots, as in Texas bugs and critters have been known to climb into a pair of boots while the wearer sleeps. As I walked forward I was not bitten, nothing was squelching under foot and so I felt safe…relieved really. Anyway, Toes emitted the EEEhhhheee sound again. I was now outside my bedroom door faced by three grown adults, all terrified and pointing in Toes direction. ‘What’s happened’, I enquired somewhat puzzled. LOOK, AAgghhh. Toes had discovered a Scorpion. Not in the healthiest condition of his life, clearly suffering from some treatment or other, rendered to the property by the aforementioned Terminix. Looking around at the frightened faces I asked ‘Is this it?’ Yes, Yes , do something. Dressed in T-shirt, my son’s Football Shorts and Cowboy Boots I proceeded to stand on said Scorpion who, at this stage I felt sorry for… and do the dreaded deed. He must have been terrified being confronted by Toes and Family. Then a voice perks up from behind..’Coffee anybody’. It was son-in-law who had fallen in behind the group, staying safely away in case the scorpion, by some miracle, jumped up and bit his bloody head off.

So, coffee it was and any thoughts of indulging in long periods of relaxation or even sleep, faded into distant memory. Ah sure there’s plenty of time for lie-ins…. There is ??

 

LegalEagleStar , San Antonio , Texas , Monday , 12th. September , 2011 .