The Ireland of 2016 as told in The Papers

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Today in Smithfield, The Rebels launched an attack to the south of the Four Courts where the  Government Storm Troopers have been garrisoned since the suspension of the Law Courts last month. A source close to the Rebel command informs us that they have this morning, occupied the Jameson Buildings. It would appear  that the attack on the Walkinstown Headquarters of the Rebels last Thursday, when Government militias summarily executed the hundred plus occupants, has prompted this current occupation. A Government spokesman said that such actions will not be tolerated and promises to put down this current attempt to defy the democratically elected Government of the People. A total of over 800 rebels have been killed over the past week.

In the Dail , The Leader of the House claimed that the actions of the Government Militias has been justified as the Rebels and their spurious campaign to reinstate Social Welfare Benefits are totally unjustified and Un-European in nature and will not be tolerated. The Opposition, now in hiding, have claimed that since European Forces were invited to patrol the streets of the capital, that a shoot to kill policy was in operation in the State. They claim that since the Dail was usurped by The Troika last December their lives have been in danger. To date some 20 elected TDs have been summarily executed. A Government spokesman denies these claims and blames the Rebels for all deaths that have occurred.

Other News

The American President has shown concern for what is happening in Korea. Since China invaded both North and South, the island has been annexed to China. The United Nations said they were delighted with the progress in the region but noted the  concerns of the President.

In Manchester, England there was another night of rioting. A Conservative Party spokesman said that people unhappy with living in Council Estates should either leave the country or else buy better housing. The fact that these people have decided, as a career choice, to leave their secure jobs is no excuse to act in such an undignified manner.

Outside of Dublin it’s reported that since the abolition of the Garda Siochana by the Minister for Justice, the Drug Gangs continue to fight for control of strategic areas. Our Reporter has witnessed the wholesale slaughter of citizens who stand up against these ruthless individuals. In Derry, the Republican Movement have reinstated Free Derry  and is actively patrolling the area to protect the citizen again the Drug Dealers who have menaced the New Euro -Province of Ireland since its inception last July. The Fine Gael Government has denounced the Republicans as unruly terrorists who have not learnt the lessons from the Civil War in the 1920s. ‘We won the War’, stated Enda Kenny ‘and how dare they have ideas above their station’. He went on.. ‘Such nonsense as introducing a Socialist Republic will be fought at every crossroads in this United Country of ours’…’Long Live The Troika’ he concluded as he gave a single-handed salute to admirers in Parliament.

The whereabouts of Vincent Browne is unknown after the collapse of TV3.  His show was denounced by The Troika after he refused to be quiet at their Press Conference last January. TV3 executives have refused to comment on the assertion that it was his nightly ‘Tonight with Vincent Browne‘ programme that caused the demise of the station.

Troika News

Since the imposition of Single Party Government by the Troika following the refusal of the Opposition to agree to the many changes ‘suggested’ some twelve months ago, their Report issued today congratulates both Enda Kenny and his Fine Gael Party for implementing the necessary changes needed to support the Euro and the Central Banks. It would appear that the remaining Labour Party deputies, that had refused to change allegiance to Fine Gael have now been sacked. The Labour Party has now officially been added to the list of Proscribed Organisations. They join Joe Higgin’s Socialist Party and Mary Lou’s McDonald’s  Sinn Fein. Independents have been listed individually.

Financial News

Good News for Citibank as they confirm  that the austerity measures imposed in the Euro Zone and in particular in the Euro-Provence of Ireland has substantially improved their balance sheet. The Chief Executive proclaimed at a lunch in The Four Seasons in Boston that they are delighted with the success of the Troika and confirmed that they will continue to support their actions.

Fashion

The Annual Euro Fashion Awards have been held for a second year in the Four Seasons Hotel in Ballsbridge. It was felt that such secure surroundings would be beneficial to promote the image of Ireland as an open economy and promote Jobs. Government leaders and Militia were present to enjoy an outstanding event which was viewed live throughout the Euro Zone. The latest fashions from Germany, Italy and France were on display and a fabulous night was had by all.

Breaking News …

The Occupation in Smithfield has been stamped out. According to Government sources all those involved were killed but the Dail has been informed by General Kohn that no property was damaged.

You may consider the above pure fiction. But beware. The path the Irish Citizen is being led down in the shadow of a ‘Democratic’ New Euro Zone may have dire consequences.

LegalEagleStar , Wednesday , 1 st. February , 2012 .